Pssst! Our Other, Secret, Hidden Blog!

No, not really!
I started a new blog to be our travel blog because China blocks access to Blogger. So, we started another blog for the trip. I will eventually post about the trip here when we get home, but for the duration of the trip (which we still don't know when it will be!) we will be here:
http://www.youbelong.net/sophieonmymind
Plus it's probably good to have one for the co-workers that's long on baby, short on my views about how the world should run.
In the meantime I will probably still blog here, as this is my baby.
I have to tell you I am uber-disappointed about no TA, as, of course, we cannot wait another second for Sophie.
(Look at her hold her little foot. Nobody holds their foot the way my girl holds her baby foot!)
OMG we look at her lovely face day and night and want to touch her and feed her and hold her and play with her and sing to her and so many things. We want to know what she is like, and what she likes, and if she likes us! We are so in love, and this wait is seemingly endless and torturous. And it looks like I may have to finish the semester at school. I was hoping to "get out of jail free" a bit sooner this year. Actually, even if we leave a week later (sometime week of 12/13 is what I am thinking now) it's still all good school-wise, if not Sophie-wise. It would let me really wrap up the school stuff and maybe not have to submit grades from China, and I want to give China and Sophie my full-attention.
Last week I had one-on-one conferences with my students, and most of them were really nice conferences. I really do care about my students, and I like to offer them help thinking about their career goals, and etc. One guy was so upset because he dropped his radiology tech. course because he hated it, an he wanted to be a radiology technician. Turns out he's a drummer but his mom and dad are dead-set against him trying to make a career of it. It's so sad. I'm sure that some people like being radiology technicians, but if you don't like it, I would expect it to be soul-crushingly boring. I have to get my act together and do conferences 2x in a semester, because the one-on-one interaction really cuts down on the behavior issues some of the more immature (usually male) students have. The student I wrote about previously who had her car stolen and her daughter was sick, remember her? It turns out her daughter is just a few days younger than Sophie. I went to the Carter's outlet this week (50% off the whole store plus I had a 20% off coupon and they let you use both! Best deal ever! It would have been a crime, a crime people, NOT to go.), and I bought an outfit for Sophie, and one for my student's little girl too. Is that weird? I just felt I'd like to give her something. At the conference she told me she signed up for my class for the spring (higher level class), and I told her we would have "bring your baby to class" day. I also had showed that class the movie Up the Yangtze (excellent, Netflix it now!), and so many of them remarked at how much they liked it, and how much they liked learning about life in China. Which brings me to another event in our lives, we got refingerprinted.
We got refingerprinted last week in Van Nuys, and the man who fingerprinted me looked like Jack Albertson, and had the biggest ears I've ever seen. He asked me where I was adopting from and I told him China and he told me about how the babies are stolen and sold there. (Thank you very much LA Times columnist: I Need Something to Write About, how I despise you) And so we discussed how yes, we know about it, and we also know that it happens anywhere international adoption does, and how the Hague and China especially are very watchful of it, etc. Sophie's orphanage is very good and a Half the Sky orphanage as well, so I feel pretty confident that she is not stolen. But, I mean, if you want to get technical, the one-child policy combined ith a both gender preference and need make it virtually impossible for parents to keep their daughters, so in a way the government is robbing them of their children. But overall I do not think the government is getting rich off the children, nor do I think the individual orphanages are. The fees are really just too low for that to be true. If you consider that we will donate (actually have donated) the same amount to Sophie's orphanage that other parents who adopted older children have, then you realize they are not making $ off it. The amount needed to feed, clothe, love and care for a baby for 9 months is not the same as for 18 months, or 3 years, etc. And yes, everything is less-expensive in China, but 'round-the-clock-care never is cheap. Ahh, I feel conflicted about pain I feel over the loss Sophie and her parents have of each other, and the joy I feel at being very very lucky to be getting such a special little girl.
In any case, the fingerprint-man seemed very comforted by my answer, and we began to talk about him, because he had would I could best describe as a thick Russian accent, and it turns out he is Persian, and in America now for over 30 years. Thanks to movie Persepolis (which I show one of my classes every semester, and which, he told me is Greek for "city of Persia") I know to say Eear-ran instead of Eye-ran, and I know a little bit about the revolution and Iraq-Iran war. So we had a good old time talking about oppression and revolution and the current government which he spits on! And good for him too, it sounds terrible there now. He is so happy to see people protesting and trying to change it again. He thinks the religious extremism is horrible, and isn't he right, and isn't all religious extremism, including our fundamentalist nutters in the USA, horrible? Sometimes I find it very odd that so many religious-zealots in the USA don't want to help people asking for help, the unemployed, orphans, etc., but they love to force "help" on those they see as misguided, schools, gays, etc. Okay, I will stop myself before I rant. Anyway, it's kind of typical of Dave and I that I would get the Persian man who's very well-read and has a lot of opinions, and he got the sweet Latino woman who has a child Sophie's age, and the two of them chatted about how fun kids are the whole time. And even though I went in first, Dave was finished first. Sometimes I feel that life is always challenging me. Is it? Is that my perception? Or is that what I deserve for being an opinionated NPR junkie?
My favorite NPR show is The World, followed by Talk of the Nation and The Story. How about you?
We had a fabulous Thanksgiving at Nina and David's (http://www.journeytokavanna.blogspot.com/). Both their daughters are amazing. Kavanna has just turned two but she's already memorizing children's books like What's Wrong Little Pookie, which, btw, I highly recommend, and Ariel played a new song for us that she wrote. I don't even know how many she has written in total, but I think it's a lot, and there all pretty good, and she has a style too. Pretty cool. We went over with Rachel and Paul, and we really had a lovely time and a lot of food! Their dining room table seats 8 too, which I really want to upgrade ours to in the new year. I love having people over, and I've hardly done it since we moved to CA, first because we knew no one, and then because we have never had any room. Now we have room, but we need a bigger table.
We put up our tree last night. We never do it this early normally, but we don't know when we'll go, and so we are using Dave's little aluminum tree this year. I really prefer real trees, but we won't be able to take care of one, and his little, pink, yes pink, tree is cute.
Okay, blew the hour that I was supposed to be using to grade grammar exercises. Damn. How can you people let me ramble on like this when you know I've got grading to do???
:+D
So, reminder, when we get TA, you will find us exclusively here:
http://www.youbelong.net/sophieonmymind
C'mon TA!

Dave's Baby Shower

I haven't gotten a chance to tell you that Dave's work gave us a really nice baby shower. Everybody was so sweet and generous.
The shower was organized by Dave's friend Cris.
(Cris holding the bear from Nan)
She got us cupcakes for the shower instead of a cake, which we liked better, and they were so yummy. I was hooked on the strawberry ones. (Dave liked the vanilla!)
They got us the most wonderful gifts. They took up a collection and got us a video camera for our trip from Victor and Karen, Suan, Madeline, Janet, Helen, Jeff (Dave's boss), Bertina, Richard, Kendra, Michelle, Mike, Sanaz, Grant, Nichole, Erica, Paul, John, Alison, Pratima, Jodi, Lori, Scott, Nan, and Cris (who organized the shower).

Some people bought us gifts on their own too.
Lori chipped in for the camera and also got us
(Dave, the Monkee-man, especially loves these monkees!)
5 Little Monkees and their book plus a box of socks that look like Vans (we love Vans), Nan also chipped in and in addition gave us a picture frame and a teddy, Connie gave us a pretty dress from Carters, Erin and Kelly gave us a ride-on pony and a CD they made of songs for baby, Patrick gave us a stroller, and Dave R gave us a baby book of haikus and a play grocery basket of fruit. If you click on the photo of the stroller you should be able to see them all. Sophie, you did really well! Everyone was so generous, and I know it will mean a lot to Sophie to know people cared about her so very much. And also, the video camera we have been wanting to get, but it is tough for us to buy "big ticket" items, and I know Sophie will appreciate the camera a lot. We will have little information ever to give her about the first 9 months of her life, and she may never be able to find or learn any more; for some people who are adopted that information is something they long for, so having lots of video of herself as a baby will, I'm sure, be precious to her. We really can't thank everybody enough for all the kindness they showed us and the very thoughtful gifts. We were overwhelmed.
(And, you know, I'm just one of the ghosts in the machine at my jobs. I told all my deans about my adoption as they had to write employment letters for me and as we may leave for China before the semester ends, but it's not like I mean anything to anyone at those jobs. I'm very replaceable, as all adjuncts are, so, again, it' especially nice to have co-workers and see that Dave is really valued at his job.)

I, personally, was also overwhelmed by walking into their conference room and seeing Sophie. I bet not too many baby showers have a picture of the baby for decoration. She is so pretty, and we love her so much, it was delightful to see her as the star of the room:

We got another great present that day too. Dave's boss Jeff made a truly lovely speech about Sophie. We were doubly lucky in that Jeff was able to produce a simulacrum (a sort-of transcript) for us afterwards (and, considering that he did this off-the-cuff, we are doubly moved and impressed!):
(Jeff stood to make the speech; this photo is just him and Dave's other friend Janet hanging out with us later.)
Thank you to everybody for coming today.
You may have noticed that it has been raining babies here at Zynx lately.
We are up to our knees in new babies!
I think this is the 176th baby shower this month.
This is good since the Zynx mission is, after all, “To provide evidence-based babies….”
My own theory is that the different departments didn’t get the full-time employees (FTEs) that they hoped for in the 2010 budget, and so are going about building their departments organically instead.
The Zynx babies are ALL special! All are so cute. All are so intelligent. All have such promising futures – you just know that these kids will grow up to be scientists, national leaders, and late-nite talk-show hosts.
Another thing all the Zynx babies share is, of course, their middle name….Madeline Zynx Lee, Emily Zynx Tatiyants, etc. (As you know, it is in the small print of our employee contracts that any babies be given that middle name).
While all the Zynx babies are special, the Content Team is especially excited about one baby: Sophie Zynx Yurkovich. The reason we are all especially excited is because Sophie Zynx is especially special.
There are a lot of reasons she is extra special.
For example, the typical special Zynx baby takes 9 months and…what? 6 minutes? And then…BABY! Sophie Zynx, being extra special, took FOUR YEARS. Everyone knows that if you spend longer on something, it turns out to be extra special! For example, if somebody on the street spent 2 hours on Thanksgiving dinner, it might be good. A Zynx person might spend 4 hours on the dinner and it would be special. The Yurovich’s would spend a good 9 hours on it…now that would be an EXTRA-special banquet!
Another example:
In order to get a special Zynx baby home, you need….a car seat. That’s it. They approve the car seat, you drive home and don’t sleep for the next 5 years. Nothing else is required.
To get an extra-special baby requires more. It requires passports. And transoceanic flights. And domestic flights. And rides in Chinese taxis. And a visa! Madeline Zynx didn’t require a visa to go home with Victor and Karen! Sophie Zynx requires a visa! And more airplanes (during which, by the way, Sophie will be sleeping or coo-ing adorably throughout). And LAX. And paparazzi. And a car seat! And a drive up the 405 and through the 405/101 interchange. An extra special baby requires this extra effort.
A special Zynx baby requires…what? The initial 6 minutes, then the hospital stuff, then “here’s the baby”.
An extra special baby requires “Sign here. Initial here. Sign here. And here. And…”. And requires fingerprints. And the FBI. And home visits (luckily the Yurovich’s hid what needed hiding prior to the home visit). Extra special babies require extra-special prep work.
One thing I can almost guarantee, Victor Lee didn’t need to fight for changes in the application of national legislation to get Madeline Zynx! The Yurkovich’s, on the other hand, did! When a law was passed that would have led to a delay in getting Sophie home where she belongs, they launched a national petition campaign that led to getting those who were already in the process at the time of the new law to be grandfathered in under the old law. Extra special babies sometimes require changing laws!
Finally, the first impression that a parent of a special Zynx baby has is “crying and screaming” – a preview of the next 18 to 27 years. The parents also think that the baby is cute…but that is because they are exhausted! They have been “pushing” or have been being yelled at for who knows how many hours. They are tired, so the baby looks cute. But let’s be honest, newborns aren’t that cute! Sometimes they have the conehead thing. Sometimes they have the skin…white…ick…thing. Sometimes, like my niece, they are pulled out by spatulas or hooks or tongs or whatever and so have marks on their skin…not cute! Sophie Zynx, on the other hand, here was everybody’s first impression of her:
(Entire room goes “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh”)
(And they projected this photo of Sophie on the screen)
Exactly! Ahhhhhhhhhh. Sooooo cute! Not crying! This first picture, by the way, was before she knew who her parents were going to be.
This picture soon followed after she found out who her parents are:
(And then they projected this photo of Sophie on the screen.)
That’s a happy baby! If you look closely at this picture (and I’ve looked at it a LOT!), it seems like this is a baby who knows how lucky she is. Think about it! Her mom is a writer WHO WRITES CHILDREN BOOKS! Her dad is a great artist/illustrator/cartoonist who can ILLUSTRATE CHILDREN BOOKS! Her favorite uncle is JEFF BARNHART! The only way she could be any luckier is if her grandpa were Willie Wonka!
All the Zynx babies are special. But this one, for so many reasons, is extra special.
We look forward to Sophie Zynx’s arrival and hope she will be editing content within a few years.
On behalf of Zynx, the Content Team, and the Editorial Team, congratulations David and Di. You will be GREAT parents of this EXTRA special little girl
Aw, even now, when I read it, it makes me cry. What a sweet person "Uncle Jeff" is. We really cannot express how much we appreciated this, and all of the Zynx' kindness and generosity and love. Sophie, your Poppy has a good job!

("Wow Dave," says Dianne, quite mystified, "look at all these lovely gifts! These people really must like you for some reason...." [LOL, I'm just kidding Davey!])

Well...

We did not get our TA last week, but, that means we can get it this week instead!
It is completely surreal beyond anything I have ever imagined to be thinking about your daughter far away. We sent her a care package, but I have the urge to send her one every day. I'm am held back only by the thoughts that: #1 it wouldn't reach her much before we would, and #2 we need the $ for China. Okay, okay, rational mind, I will listen, but I am not that crazy about you I hope you know.
Right now I should be grading some of the worst (and a few of the better) research papers I have ever graded.
How dare life require such mundane things of you when you have a photo that needs staring at?
Dave, sweet, plucky little husband, is painting our bedroom today so that when we come home it won't still be creme walls dyed tan by years and dirt from the previous occupants (who did nothing, absolutely nothing more than occupy space here, btw). We haven't done it sooner because we couldn't think of what to do. So, I bought a duvet cover at Ikea and said , what the hell, we can always repaint! So, we are painting it white with two green accent walls, and the duvet is, well, let me see if I can find it:



They kind of remind us of outer space flowers, so we liked them, and I thought they were a sort of lime green; turns out they are yellow when you get it home, but we've still decided to go with a bright green accent wall. I wanted the room to be light with an "outdoor greenery" feel, and Dave wanted UFOs, so it's a bit of both.
But who can think clearly about anything when this exists?

Let's get busy Sophie and tease Chad, and pat the kitties, and snuggle, and eat goodies for Christmas, and hide from Daddy. No let's kiss Daddy; he loves us so much.
OMG, this is insanity, this waiting.
Would you look at that little face?
I don't want to scare her or make her cry when I meet her, but I bet I will cry.
I have loved to the point of madness
That which is called madness
That which to me
Is the only sensible way to love. -Francoise Sagan -
Smart Frenchman.
C'mon TA. I'm ready to drown myself in madness, to breath it like ocean air, in deep long breaths.

I am also anxiously waiting to meet Leilani (http://youbelong.net/mcmillin), but they've gone quiet over there. I'm sure love has its quiet moments too.

Meanwhile, the scuttlebutt on the wire about the next batch of referrals is all ugly talk, the fly who will sit on your ear on a certain warm summer morning buzzing and buzzing, and wake you too early, no matter how many times you try to shake him off. The scuttlebutt goes in cycles, and it's dipping into a very low ugly spot just now. I feel very lucky not to be on the ride, but very concerned for my friends Kayce, Kristine, and Kris. If it's true, it's so unfair. If it's not true, all this dragging through the depths is so unfair. I don't know that I can help, that I can say anything. I understand how clear the delineation is between those who are off the ride and those who are still on. It's as if one of us has died and we can never meet again until the other one crosses over to our side.
I am thinking of you.
Even a very small degree of hope is enough to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Today's Horoscope

Just for fun, I get my horoscope sent to me daily from Yahoo.

I am a Sagittarius.
Last week, there were 3 days where they sent me blank horoscopes! I thought this was a sign that I had ceased to exist, but Dave said it meant the slate was blank, for me to create what I wanted. I just love Dave.
After the 3 blanks the horoscopes began to arrive again, but they are different now, more like fortune cookie fortunes than horoscopes: very much like, "Confucius advise...."
So, here's today's, and it feels right on the $.
What you thought mattered is now unimportant or vice versa. Isn't life funny?
I have been worrying about leaving for China too soon and really messing with my semester (I'm an adjunct professor), but, strangely enough, the more days that go by, the less I fear jeopardizing my jobs, and the more I want to go go go and get my Sophie. I guess if I leave too early they will all dock my pay; isn't that nice? But we will make out. We are not rich; we are never "flush"; let's be honest, LOL, but we always make out. The slate is, actually, always blank, for me to create what I want.
We wired our orphanage donation Tuesday.
We picked out our hotels with our guide.
We go to get re-fingerprinted today.
What I thought mattered is now really unimportant to me.
Life is funny that way.
I'm expecting *TA today. I've been expecting it to come today all week.

I wonder if I'm right.

*TA= travel approval from the Chinese government.

More Exciting Mail!

Okay, you may not know this about me, but I am a 1970s dork at heart. So you can iamgine how thrilled I was when I opened this package:

We received this gift from our friend Emma in Sweden
Okay Sophie, if Mama could fit her big 'ol feet in these we would have to share!
Thank you so much Emma. You couldn't have sent anything I would have liked more, except for maybe bringing them in person. I so appreciate it! They are precious!
xo~
Di